79. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

You know what, life can really be a rollercoaster.  I think I might have to just go chronologically and point form for this post so as not to get lost in everything that has happened.

27/01

• Sister, brother-in-law and kids over for a bit.  I was borrowing the power washing to do the front path as it is getting slippery in the wet and I don’t want Pither to slip and fall over (or me!) GOOD

• Organised my room a bit better but still a long way to go GOOD.

• Slow stitched a little card for a friend’s birthday GOOD

• Face-timed with a friend for over two hours GOOD

• 💩 big of a frequent flyer but GOOD

28/01

• Finished off sewing my blouse that I had help adjusting the pattern GOOD

• Sewed a tote bag for a friend’s birthday out of scraps of the quilt I made for Sarah GOOD

• Dropped parents at train station and picked them up again as Pither’s legs weren’t that happy today - GOOD/BAD

• 💩  GOOD

29/01

• Exercise class, power washed front path GOOD but then really tired so needed a rest for a few hours

• Cut out shorts pattern and sewed them together GOOD, realised I’d done the wrong seams and my brain wasn’t working so needed to go to bed early BAD.  I’d done too much today. 

• 💩  BAD

30/01

• Stitch and Bitch sewing class.  Sorted out the shorts seams (though there was a bit more of the wrong seams and some laughing about that), put in pockets and zip.  GOOD

• Sold 6 yards of fabric on Spoonflower.  Yay.  GOOD

• 💩 GOOD/BAD

31/01

• Exercise class in the day and boxing at night GOOD

• Various things that happened with Pither today which I won’t go into for privacy reasons but I ended up in bed early again from physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.  BAD

• 💩 BAD

01/02

• Quiet day doing some sewing and organising room.  GOOD

• Got paid from Spoonflower into my PayPal account. $14.85USD. GOOD.

• 💩 GOOD

02/02

• Centrelink UGLY UGLY UGLY - this needs a whole blog post on it’s own

• 💩 UGLY

03/02 - Fallout from Centrelink

• Bad night UGLY. 

• Missed exercise class BAD

• Really stiff and sore joints BAD

• 💩 UGLY

• Did a little bit of slow stitching to try and calm the nervous system. GOOD

04/02 - still recovering from Centrelink

• Had to cancel lunch with a friend BAD

• Had dinner with sister and family to try and reset from the ugly GOOD

• 💩 UGLY. Gastro stop needed

05/02

• Sewing class.  Shorts almost finished just need to top stitch the waist band and the leg hems GOOD.  Forgot to pay for my lesson.  BAD

• Exercise class GOOD.  Swapped my Saturday mornings to Friday middle of the day to maximise if I have a bad night.  More likely to make it to a 1pm class than a 9am class.

• GP appointment.  Zoladex injection number 8.  Been on it for 8 months now.  Where does the time go?  8 months out of 7-10 years though doesn’t seem like much.  Results from the ultrasounds and CT scan. Leg doppler clear GOOD.  CT scan no issues in major arteries but “technical difficulty was encountered due to patient’s body habitus - the distal lobar, segmental and subsegmental branches could not be completely opacified - if strong clinical suspicion of small artery pulmonary embolism a VQ scan may be considered”.  BAD?  GP said to watch out for signs of dizziness, vertigo, breathlessness, excessive tiredness, chest pain.  Hmm, these have been ticking up again BAD.  I’ll bring in my oncologist next week too.  Ultrasound on back lump. I have named it Quasimodo.  “A Lobulated hypoechoic lesion - 16mm - perhaps a sebaceous cyst, however a fine needle aspiration needed to confirm”. Great, another biopsy type thing.  BAD.  First appointment available for that is the 27th Feb.  BAD.  Need to do another urine test to make sure the UTI is gone.

• Dropped into pay for my sewing lesson GOOD.

• 💩 zero - due to having to take gastro stop yesterday.

06/02

• Appointment with psychologist.  GOOD.  Went over trauma from Centrelink. Still affected physically BAD

• Did a bit of slow stitching, decided to hand sew the finishing bits on the waist band for the shorts GOOD

• Tired and very hard to concentrate on things BAD so watched some of my favourite YouTube channels to get out of the head emotions GOOD

07/02

• Centrelink appointment BAD/GOOD. This will be in the Centrelink post

• Exercise class GOOD

• Breast cancer support group in the evening (after a couple of hours rest) GOOD

• 💩 GOOD but “frequent flyer” today

08/02

• Ikea order arrived.  Half for me and half for my sister.  Drove her order to her and helped her put it together.  GOOD

• GP called and said my UTI is still active. BAD “I’ll put you on cepha….no, you are allergic to that.  I’ll put you on the same as the hospital gave you but 7 days this time” BAD.  Antibiotics make me nauseous and give me diarrhoea.  Like I need more of that!!!  She emails me a script so I could start tonight.  Next time I’m going past her office to pop in and pick up another specimen jar and then do another test 7 days after I finish the antibiotics.

• “What’s wrong with your eye?” My sister asks.  Oh crap, it looks like there is a big blood blister in the corner near my nose left side.  Like what happened in Narrabri the day I had to drive back to Sydney before my lumpectomy operation.  Same eye too.  I can’t feel it other than my eye feeling a bit more tired than the right one.  BAD. Treatment is -  not allowed to wear contacts until it clears up UGLY and to put in lubricating eye drops four or five times a day.  If it doesn’t start to get better in a day or so it’ll be an optometrist visit.  BAD.  

• I went to choir practice on the way home. GOOD.  I was super tired and probably should’ve just gone home, taken my contacts out and gone to bed BAD.  But, it was the first day back and I’ve missed choir GOOD.  After about 20 mins or so of singing I notice I’m a bit more breathless than I should be and I get a bit of a dry cough BAD.  Those are symptoms I don’t want to have.

• 💩 UGLY - gastro stop

09/02

• I hate not wearing contacts, I get headaches and can’t see UGLY.  Walked up to the chemist to get the eyedrops.  HOT outside BAD.  Knee really hurt when I got home BAD.

• 💩 BAD, more on the constipation end today, probably the gastro stop, or maybe I forgot to drink enough water cos it is hot.  

• Listened to a lot of podcasts on the History Hit about medieval times, vikings, neanderthals GOOD

• Mither helped me put together my Ikea purchase.  It’s an IVAR unit with a clothes hanger attachment.  Now I can actually hang up dresses and shirts instead of stuffing them in drawer GOOD.  It was pretty epic doing a lot of it by feel GOOD!  Gaaaahhhhhh hate not being able to see BAD.

10/02

• exercise class.  Energy levels GOOD, nauseous BAD.  No contacts in so that was interesting.  

• Eye a bit better GOOD

• Tummy really not happy BAD.  Had to lie down a lot today. BAD

• 💩 UGLY

• A sister and niece came up and we did some baking together GOOD.  Well, I supervised verbally cos still blind.  I tried to put my contacts in for a short time but didn’t even get an hour BAD

• Was having withdrawls from doing slow stitching so went through my scraps box and by feel pulled out the “Tricksy cloths”.  Week 6 challenge with K3n was to use fabrics that aren’t your usual nice cottons.  I felt there was lycra, raincoat, gauze, ribbon, something thick and embroidered, slippery.  I could see colours so I very quickly laid them out where I might sew them.  GOOD.  It’s been almost a week now since doing it and I haven’t had a chance to actually do any sewing BAD.

• On YouTube I listened (not watched!) to the Time Team about archaeological digs in England.  Very cool information even though I couldn’t really see what they were talking about. GOOD

• 💩 BAD bordering on UGLY.  Damn those antibiotics

11/02

• Went through some boxes in my room organising.  Even without contacts in I could tell what things were.  Started a thrift shop donating box.  GOOD. Eye is much better GOOD

• In the afternoon put contacts in and did a Spotlight shop.  Big sale on so got some fabric to make another top.  GOOD

• Dinner at Lebanese restaurant GOOD.  I did have a bit of the hummos and a little bit of the flat bread.  Slightly off my usual food so let’s see what happens. Brother-in-law not well and sent to hospital BAD.

• Played Pass the Pigs with my niece GOOD until she got upset her points went to zero….Home early and to bed early to make sure I didn’t overdo the contacts in the eyes.

• 💩 GOOD

• HOT FLUSHES LIKE CRAZY ABOUT EVERY 15 MINS ALMOST THE WHOLE NIGHT.  Sweated so much needed to change my sheets.  Yeah, I guess a bit of grains and a bit of legumes really does affect me.  BAD

12/02

• Called oncology day clinic to say abemaciclib running out and I hadn’t received an email about my next box being delivered.  It was chased up and delivery tomorrow GOOD

• Breast Specialist appointment.  6 months check up.  She is very happy with how my scars look and feel GOOD.  She is very happy with my mobility in my arms GOOD.  She was happy I don’t have signs of lymphoedema GOOD.  Happy with the fact that my diet changes and exercise is helping my knee though when she found out I wasn’t eating grains, legumes or refined sugar she said “Oh, I pity you, I just had a biscuit”.  Giggles, she had a gleam in her eyes.  GOOD. Nice to see her without a mask on.  First time out of the 8 times I have seen her GOOD. She is pretty sure Quasimodo is a cyst GOOD.  However they can become infected and because my medications lower my immune system I could end up with a bad infection so might consider getting it cut out BAD.  She still wants the fine needle aspiration to 100% confirm what it is GOOD.  I’ll see her in a year GOOD.

• Met some siblings and friends at the beach down south.  GOOD. Dinner with sister and niece GOOD

• Home not too late and bed early to take out contacts so as not to over stress the eye GOOD

• 💩 GOOD

13/02

• been having heart palpitations on and off over the last few days and getting dizzy spells, especially when bending over BAD

• Massage today GOOD

• Amazing storm with awesome lighting this afternoon GOOD

• 💩 GOOD/BAD

14/02

• Got a dizzy spell where I saw dark on my peripheral BAD.  Took blood pressure. First go heart rate showed irregular BAD.  Second time it was ok.  BP 111/79 GOOD.  Beats per minute 94….haven’t been doing anything much so that’s a bit high BAD

• Exercise class GOOD.  Made sure I didn’t put my head down in case I got dizzy again.  Took BP again after class and shower.  120/81, beats per minute 93. GOOD 

• Heart palpitations a few times again today BAD

• Rested in the afternoon as had boxing class tonight. GOOD. Didn’t go super crazy at boxing, just kept it medium to light intensity GOOD

• 💩 UGLY in the late evening and major gut pains.  Woke me up and I spent 20 minutes on the toilet UGLY.

Ok, and that brings me to today, 15/02.  I was going to take the parents to the train station as Pither had an appointment.  He wasn’t doing well so I said I would drive them to Glebe.  I had a phone appointment with Centrelink at 10.30am so that could’ve been interesting together.  However, the specialists office was happy to do a zoom meeting with the parents so no driving in the city for me and the appointment worked out very well via zoom anyway.  I got my phone appointment in too so it was all ok in the end.  GOOD

Oh, yeah, more dizziness this morning and some chest pains on the left for a few seconds. I’ve had those before and they go away but I’ve written it down to tell my oncologist.  BAD

I have time this afternoon to do some stitching in my weekly K3n Tricksy Cloths and maybe even week 7 which is a scrappy fabric collage heart.  GOOD.  I also saw that Marion from Marion’s World on YouTube has a new video out which I can enjoy tonight.  GOOD.  I also think I will try and finish off my shorts today too GOOD.  I am getting pretty tired again though even though I did sleep ok last night.  I’ve worked out I often get some pretty crazy hot flushes around 11pm, 2.30am and 4.30am almost every night at the very least.  Sometimes it can be 6 or 7 times.  BAD. Last night it was just twice GOOD.