5. Three hours before my shift

Wednesday. I was woken just after 8am by the doctors surgery. "Could I come in to see Dr Keppler today? " Um, no, I was in Narrabri but I could do a phone appointment. The receptionist says she needs to double check with the doctor. I am getting a slightly uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. She confirms I could do that at 11am. I put a reminder in my phone and an alarm for 10am. I know myself, I can easily fall back asleep.

10am alarm, get up and have a shower. Holy hell, Hector what have your done to me? Three quarters of my boobs is now almost all black and I definitely have a lump forming, at 4 o'clock position, and that was the size of a 50 cent piece. Still not overly painful though or very swollen.

11am. Dr calls. She starts off by saying "I hate giving results like these over the phone". My suspicions were confirmed, Hector is hazardous and definitely horrible. She goes on "The biopsy confirms breast cancer and you need to come back from your holiday asap". I wasn't really surprised at the cancer diagnosis but I was concerned about why I had to drop everything and fly back. "I'm not on holiday, I'm starting my new job in 3 hours and am due back Thursday next week. Is there any way it could wait until then?"

A short silence and then "I'm very sorry but the cancer is very fast growing and you need to see a breast surgeon asap to organise an operation to have the lump removed. Can you get on a flight today?"

I start crying. "No, there are only two flights a week to Narrabri and the next isn't until Thursday. I'll need to talk to my new boss, I haven't even met her yet".

Dr Keppler says "I'll start calling breast surgeons to see who is available and you call me back this afternoon once your talk to your boss. I do apologise that this conversation has been over the phone but this is urgent." She hangs up.

I sit in the chair staring out the window, tears still streaming down my face. All that I had worked towards for three years to get a job where I could help older people and people living with dementia, landing a position where I could do that AND travel had just crashed and crumpled. Three hours before I had even started my first shift. If this was a movie it would still be seen as crazy timing.

A cancer diagnosis had been a possibility after the scans and biopsy but never did it enter my head that it would be so super urgent. I had no idea how my new boss would react. After about 10 mins I called her number, she didn't answer so I left a message. Asking if I could come in half and hour earlier to see her before my shift.

Next I called mum, dad answered and I burst into tears again. He said mum was downstairs and took her the phone. I told them the news and that I had to come home asap. I don't know how long we talked but it involved a lot of tears on my part. After I hung up I just sat in the chair staring at nothing. I don't know how long but eventually I figured I probably should eat some lunch before my shift started.

I walk over to Jessie Hunt and meet up with my boss. I tell her the news, more tears. She is very understanding an immediately calls to organise me to fly home tomorrow. She says "If we can't get on you the flight tomorrow I'll get someone to drive you to Tamworth to fly out from there". That's about a 2 hours trip one way. She leaves me to call Dr Keppler to let her know I was flying back tomorrow. Dr Keppler say that Dr Inder has an appointment on Monday and she will book me in.

My new boss says I could go back to The Crossroads and I need not work my shift if I didn't want to but I decided to stay. I didn't want to be alone in my room all night when I knew I could help out. My shift was from 2pm to 9pm and flew by. I quickly realised that none of the staff has much knowledge of dementia and all of them would benefit from some basic training. My contract with Whiddon is a year contract for the FIFO AIN position. My aim was to work with them for the year and then go on to dementia training, either with them, or perhaps have my own business. By the end of the shift I knew that there was a huge need for staff to be trained better. It's not that they were uncaring but their knowledge was woefully lacking which lead to unconscious harm.

The walk back to the hotel was soothing, the heat of the day had left and the night was clear. The milky way shone brightly. I had a shower, my boob looks hideous, now black mostly. At least I can show the specialist and see what she says. I pack up my bags, go to bed and fall asleep quickly.