88. 'Now that's one gorgeous shoulder'

A couple of days ago I got the results from the MRI I had on my left clavicle, shoulder and chest.  My oncologist said “it’s not cancer but very advanced arthritis.”  It’s a weird world where that sentence is the good news.  I asked why it came up so suddenly and she didn’t have an answer but is sending me to a rheumatologist.  Another specialist to add to my list.  I think the cable from my port aggravated the bone and connective tissue and tendons as the main pain as the issues are right where the port cable was.  I used to have pain and discomfort when it was in.  I also found out by doing some research that  aromatase inhibitors (part of my hormone therapy) can cause accelerated degeneration for arthritis.  My blood tests were all fine, my hormones are sufficiently suppressed so I don’t need to go down the ovaries removal track just yet.  It is still in the wings as sometimes the zoladex injections becomes untenable, especially for people who were premenopausal when they go on them.  This is mainly because they are on them longer than postmenopausal people.  The weird skin changes on my right chest has mostly gone so they were probably stress related.  My left ankle/lower leg still have weird purple/red marks on it in a couple of places and aches quite a bit at night.  It isn’t swollen but I will be keeping an eye on it that’s for sure.  I’ll see my oncologist again in three months.  She said at the end of the appointment “After that little blip we are back on track again.”  A six week blimp isn’t quite little but I knew what she means.  I’ll be seeing her for the next ten years or so so in the long run it is a blip.  

The results for the MRI took a long time to get sent to my oncologist and when I saw my exercise physiologist a couple of weeks ago he was able to look at the pictures and get some information. He didn’t look at the clavicle part but he was interested in my shoulder to make sure that things were in the right place.  His comment of “Now that’s one gorgeous shoulder and if I was ordering steak I would be happy with that muscle.” made me laugh.  (yes, that is my shoulder in the picture). He was really happy to see that it was all intact as he had been wondering if there were some ligament or tendon issues that was the reason why my clavicle had pushed in and up.  I am going to take the MRI report to him tomorrow and he can translate all the medical jargon.  I had a bit of a google for some terms and have a bit of medical background from my dementia degree but it will be nice for him to show me in more details what and where things are.  I also have a Buford Complex.  Google and some medical articles say that it is about 1.5% of the population that are born this way.  Basically I am missing a type of cartilage in my shoulder that helps stabilisation and another ligament is thickened.  That is a very basic way of how I interpreted the information I found.  I don’t know if this makes it more or less likely for injuries.  Another question for tomorrow.  

I have been doing my at home exercises and also my classes.  I’ve had to adjust some things which make my clavicle hurt.  Even some core exercises do.  I found one where I lie on my back, totally relax everything chest up, bend my knees and ‘flutter’ my feet while engaging my core.  It’s a quite intense exercise but it’s one of the core exercises that doesn’t hurt.  Well, hurt my clavicle that is.  It’s Sunday and I can still feel my core muscles from my Friday session.  I know with arthritis that it is important to keep moving but not move too much.  My knee has been much better than it was six months ago after changing how and what I’ve been doing for exercises that involve my knee and legs.  

I struggle with fatigue a lot.  I think I’m going ok and then a wave washes over me and I have to go and lie down.  It doesn’t seem to be linked to how much or how little sleep I have gotten, or how active I have been.  It’s like my brain and body just says “ENOUGH!” and konks out.  I then generally just lie down and watch some relaxing videos of my favourite people on YouTube. I also have downloaded Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone so listening to Stephen Fry is very relaxing.  For the last week or so I have been putting it on for an hour when I go to bed and I have been going to sleep better.  I zone in and out for a bit but it helps just shut my brain down and I don’t get the heart palpitations and adrenaline rush that keeps me up and alert.  There isn’t anything specific that I am thinking about either, it’s like my body goes into stress mode at bed time.  

The past couple of weeks it has been hard to concentrate and be motivated to do things that I like to do.  The underlying stress of the unknown diagnosis was very draining even though I wasn’t thinking about it consciously.  I have got a bit behind on my weekly slow stitch projects and the clothes I am making.  I did finish off the Chakra coloured quilt I was making for my massage therapist and gave it to her a couple of weeks ago.  It’s always so nice to to finish a quilting project and doing the binding is usually my favourite bit.  Seeing it all come together.  Now that is done I can get back to my hexagon quilt project.   

In the last week there were two big choir items on my calendar.  We hosted a trivia night, or Trivia Knight, all medieval themed.  We are raising money for a Hurdy Gurdy.  It is on order and being handmade by an artisan in Ukraine.  We should have it by next year.  There has been discussion about who would play it and I put my hand up.  I can’t play the recorder and the hurdy gurdy at the same time so depending on the song it could be me.  I like learning new instruments so looking forward to next year.  Our chair also performed for a group of older people who get together each month.  We have done it a number of times in July and it is quite a fun day.  I played my metal flute, ‘Jupiter’ from The Planets by Gustav Holst.  It has been a while since I played my flute and I ended up in a lot of pain in my clavicle, neck and jaw and the next day spent most of it in bed with a raging headache too.  Guess I will be content with my recorders.  They don’t hurt to play.  

I did manage to spend some time with my older sister and do some work on my website.  I now have a domain name.  www.carolynheldoncreates.com. I am moving my website away from just concentrating on my cancer blog.  I have added a few of my art projects and will keep adding more.  I think I will also add a second blog to talk about my creative pursuits as well.  I am on Instagram and I signed up to Facebook again.  I am pretty much just going to have these accounts for the creative side of my life, so my art/craft projects, photos and an alert about my website updates every now and again.  There are links on my website to both my social media feeds.  So stay tuned and follow along if you’d like.