72. Torn

Let's backtrack a bit. Last Saturday I had an x-ray on my left hip and pelvis and an ultrasound on my left hip. On Tuesday I had an MRI on my left knee.

I had the ultrasound first. It was in the same room where I'd had the ultrasound on the lymph nodes November last year when the doctor with the nice eyes came in to say that there appeared to be some calcification, as we now know was Hector, but my lymph nodes appeared clear. For those of you who have read all my blog posts now know that the lymph nodes were not clear and that's where Lionel was growing amidst the 7 nodes which had cancer in them. These memories were surfacing whilst I was lying on the bed. I didn't have to strip off the bottom half, the lady just pulled down my shorts and gave me a wedgie with my underpants. She slathered on the all too familiar gel (good thing I'm not allergic to that stuff) and started poking and prodding around with the paddle thing. "Does that hurt?" she says digging into my hip joint. I wince and say yep, it really does. That is repeated a few more times and each time there are varying degrees of pain with the pokes. At the end she does a quick look right where the femoral artery passes from the abdomen to the leg to check for some sort of inclusion. She said that was clear. I'm given some paper towel to wipe off the gel. I can pull out the wedgie from my bum and pull up my shorts. She tells me to go back to the waiting room to wait for the x-ray.

I wait about 10 minutes and then is collected by a guy. I go down a corridor on the other side of the building. He is walking really fast and I limp along behind him. "Do you have any metal buttons or metal zip on your shorts?" he calls over his shoulder. "Yep" I call back. He was a good distance ahead of me now. "Wrong answer" he says. I've almost caught up to him now. He points me into a tiny little room with a curtain across the opening and tells me to take off my shorts and put on a gown, open at the back. Considering I don't have boobs now the gown fits quite a lot better. I guess 'fit' isn't really the correct word. It covers my front, sides and part of my back. I go into the room, flashing my undies (good thing I wore nice colourful ones) and he tells me to lie on my back on the x-ray machine bed. He moves me around a bit and then says "move your feet into pigeon toes for me". That is NOT comfortable for the knee or the hip or the back. He goes into the little room that protects him from the x-ray and tells me to hold my breath. He takes the picture and I can breathe again. Then he asks me to roll my left leg out away from the right leg, knee bent a bit. He puts some foam pads under my knee and behind my back a bit as I'm rolled slightly to the left. He takes another picture. I didn't have to hold my breath for this one. I can get dressed again. I just put my shorts on in the room as that is the quickest way.

On Tuesday the MRI was at 7.15pm. I had a choice of that time or 5.45am. HA! Like I would be up that early as a choice. I parked in the carpark just up the street and was walking down to the clinic. I had about 10 mins until my appointment. I get a phone call just as I was coming up to the lights to cross The Kingsway. It's the MRI place. They are running early and wondering where I am. "I'm right across the road, literally 30m away" I tell the lady. "Oh good, see you soon" she says. I limp into the room, sometimes my knee and/or hip seizes up and cramps and this was one of the times. I got up to reception and have to fill out a form with lots of questions about if I had any implants, metal anywhere etc etc. One of the questions was "Are you wearing any odour controlling clothing or undergarments?" I'm guessing that there must be some sort of metal in those. I have a vision of someone in the MRI machine when their underpants starting to vibrate and then tear themselves off and stick to the machine. I giggle silently.

A lady calls my name when I've still got a few questions to answer. I'd taken off my watch and earrings, ring, and bracelet at home so I didn't need to take them off. One of the questions were you wearing coloured contact lenses. I mentioned that I was wearing hard ones but they weren't coloured. She said they were ok. She made sure none of my clothing had any metal on it, it didn't so this time I didn't have to strip off and put on those gowns again. She puts my bag into a locker and hangs the key just inside the door to the MRI room. There is another lady in there too. I lie down on the super skinny bed and my left leg goes onto a little platform. Another bit is put over the top to lock it in place. I have to have my legs fully straight and my back flat on the bed. It is very uncomfortable. They give me a cord for my left hand that I can press a button if I need them to stop the machine. They also put headphones on me with music. MRI's are really loud, like a jackhammer. They weren't too sure my knee cap is in the correct position so say they will take a quick picture and check it's ok. It is and they say they will take a series of photos and to stay completely still.

The music is a radio station and the song on is Maneater. So they want me to stay still when there is a pop song to bop around and sing to? The next song is Like a Virgin. Stay still! I decide to concentrate on the MRI machine. I can hear it quite well over the music. Sounds like an A above middle C to my ear. The machine stops for about 30 seconds and then starts up again. This is a B below middle C. Or maybe a B flat. The sound sort of slides up and down a bit. I'm guessing that it has different sounds for when it goes through tissue or bone? I could be totally wrong here though. After about 20 mins and a few other notes, high B, an E, and middle C, then I am done and I can get up. That is easier said that done. I need help to sit up as my hip and back is VERY sore after being stuck in that flat position and not being able to move. I hobble out to the reception area and there is another form to fill out. This one has pictures of legs, front and back. I'm to mark on there where it hurts. Then a detailed message of how it was injured. Any previous injuries. How they were done. Any other illnesses. A few other questions and I can hand it back in.

All the scans were bulk billed to Medicare. I was eligible for the MRI as I've had a previous injury on the same knee otherwise it would have cost $315. Thank you Medicare and Health Care card.

I had an appointment with Dr Julia yesterday morning. I checked in and while I was waiting Kim came to check on how things had been going. She asked if it'd had any more diarrhoea episodes and I show her my poo diary. She is very impressed. She also asks about my injuries and I was just starting to fill her in when Dr Julia calls me in. Kim comes in with me too. Mither had something else on today so it was just me at the appointment. I quickly tell Dr Julia about the fall down the stairs and the scans and that I'd be getting the results from my GP in the afternoon. She then reads through my poo diary and says it's the best one she'd seen. Basically here is a snippet:

27/11/23

1859 💩 4-2 tummy pains 💊 💊

2135 💩 2-1 💊

2210 💩 1 pains 💊

Obviously 💩 is showing a diarrhoea episode. It's in 24 hour time. the numbers after the 💩 are from the Bristol Stool Chart (Dr Julia loved that bit) and the 💊 is the gastro stop medication.

Dr Julia said that compared to other people she has on the abemaciclib my symptoms are quite mild and I had managed the 💩 episodes well. She says that she thinks in the next couple of weeks that things will settle down more and I won't have as many. I ask her about preemptive 💊 taking in case I am out, such as my choir concerts which are coming up in the city. I'll have to rely on public toilets that aren't that close to the Christmas Tree in Martin Place. I said "I really wouldn't want to have a poo attack in the middle of the concert, having to rush through the crowd in full medieval garb, waving my alto recorder violently out in front of me to make a path through the throng of people, and then having to gather up the long skirts and making sure the sleeves don't end up in the toilet etc etc etc". She agreed that would not be the best scenario and says that on my concert days I could take one pill in the morning and one a couple of hours before the performance just to make sure nothing happens. That makes me feel a lot better about the upcoming performances.

I ask her about the lower leg pain which can mean blood clots as I can have feet and leg pain anyway. This year has been filled with pains all over the body. Pretty much if it is a sustained pain that either doesn't go away in an hour or gets worse, it's hot, red or swollen then that would be an indication of a blood clot. Ok, haven't had any of those symptoms so let's hope I don't. I ask her if there are follow up PET or CT scans next year and she says she doesn't do a set schedule for scans as it can give people scanxiety. However, she says she has a very low threshold for ordering scans or tests depending on what pops up. So if there is something that is annoying me and doesn't go away with usual pain medication, exercise or simple changes then she would investigate further quickly. She is very happy with my blood test results and says she can see me in 6 weeks instead of 2 weeks. Unless something major comes up that is. The appointments always seem to end that way with the oncologists. Here's the plan to see me next but we all know plans can be thrown up in the air when cancer is involved so let's just leave it open ended just in case.

On the way back to my car I call Dr Inder's office to ask if there are any scans that I would need to do before her appointment at the end of January. I said I knew it was early but with Christmas and New Years and holidays I know that people will be busy and things will book up early. She says that usually people should get a mammogram and a full chest and auxiliary lymph ultrasound. I say no boobs means no mammograms and she agreed. She put me on hold and then said that Dr Inder will write a referral for the ultrasound and email it through to me so I can book in for a week before I see her.

In the afternoon I have a GP appointment for my knee scan results. I sit down and she opens up the reports on her computer. "The ultrasound didn't really show anything much and the x-ray on the hip and pelvis are clear. Nothing broken or out of alignment. Now the MRI....oh wow, the report is 2 pages long. Let me see the summary...there it is." There is silence for a bit as she reads through it. Yeah, I was pretty sure that something would show up on that scan. So the pain in my hip and back is referred up from my knee. "Ok, you have a medial meniscus tear, on the inside (she says as I motion between the outside and inside of my knee) as well as fluid pockets, inflammation, some floating pieces in the joint, some osteoarthritis on the outside and top part of the knee. Yeah, there is a lot going on in that knee that's for sure. I think a referral to a knee surgeon would be a good idea. Not that you necessarily need surgery but just a more detailed idea of what is going on and how to help fix it now and what might need to happen in the long run." Unfortunately the surgeon wouldn't be covered by Medicare fully so that is an expense I don't want. I also probably wouldn't be able to see him until next year I would imagine. I'll ring on Monday to see what appointments he has. I will also ring up to see the physiotherapist at Restore clinic for my hip area as Dr Lauren says that would be quite beneficial for dealing with that referred pain. I was going to do that anyway, was just waiting for the reports to know what to tell them.

So, yesterday was good news in the morning and bad news in the afternoon. I don't want to say I am getting used to how this is becoming the norm for my life but I guess I don't get as surprised anymore by the sudden changes and copious amounts of appointments. It really is a full time job!