67. Blips, irregularities but nothing sinister

Some colour has come back into my life again. A large part of that will be a blog post all of its own which I have been thinking about over the last two weeks. Let's just say that the love, kindness and compassion in my local community has done a lot to bring my life a bit more semblance of normal.

This month there are some one year anniversaries.

25th Oct - when I found Hector the Horrible

1st Nov - when I went to my GP to tell her about Hector

11th Nov - mammogram and ultrasound

14th Nov - biopsy (I still wince when I think of that)

16th Nov - diagnosis confirmed. This will be my offical cancer anniversary date

Lots of emotions and memories popping up this month.

My skin is mostly good. Slightly hotter than my left side still and one section of my scar stubbornly has a bit of a scab lingering. I have almost got full movement back in my right chest and shoulder side. It really got tight with the radiation and skin scars. The nightmare of radiation treatment and side effects can be put firmly in the rear view mirror of life. I won't totally forget it all though. It's a reminder that I can get through really shitty times and I didn't do it myself. I had a lot of support from friends, family, my medical team and community. It'll be a reminder to trust not to do everything myself and to ask for help.

My heart results. Dr Julia called me last Monday 30th. She said that my heart ECHO was clear, heart was strong. That's a relief. She said the 24 hour monitor did show up some blips and irregularities but nothing sinister. She wanted to know if I was experiencing the same rate of heart palpitations, racing heart rate, dizziness and breathlessness. I said that I wasn't getting it as much, definitely not multiple times a day like I was. When the palpitations did happen they were less vicious feeling and I wasn't really getting dizzy or breathless as much. She was very happy to hear that and said she would hold off referring me to a cardiologist for now. She said to let her know if it started getting worse again. She wants me to be on the least amount of medication possible. I like that in a doctor. She said that I have gone through a huge amount of treatments and trauma in the last year so it's not surprising my body started showing signs of stress.

I saw her on Friday 3rd. She gave me a print out of the results. For those medically inclined this was the 24 hour heart results.

* Sinus rhythm 50 -194 bpm (average 101 bpm)

* Ventricular extrasystoles single (1959) in 24 hrs

* Supraventricular extrasystoles (12) in 24 hrs

I did do an exercise class when I had the monitor on so that's the 194 bpm.

I asked Dr Julia if the hormone therapy could make ligament injury more common and she didn't think so, other than old injuries may be more susceptible to be injured again. I asked because my left knee has been annoying me, sore and tight and catching. I did injure both meniscus ligaments back in Sep 2015. Dr Julia said be guided by my personal trainer and make sure that I have perfect form when doing exercises. I've passed on the message to Lewis and he has been reminding me.

Dr Julia asked if I was feeling ready to progress with my new treatments and I said I was. It had probably taken 3 of the 4 weeks since I last saw her for me to really feel like it will be ok. She put a referral in for the zoledronic acid infusions and today I got a call from the oncology department at Sutherland Hospital that I would have my first one on Tues 14th at 10.30am. It's the same place where I had my chemo. I've been through the clinic a few times as Paula's office is in that section and have said a few hellos to the nurses. It will be nice to give them an update on how things have been since May 9th when I saw them last. The infusion may give me some flu like symptoms in the next 48 hours after. There is also anecdotal evidence is can help with bone pain. Before the infusion I'll need a blood test. That reminds me....just had to put a reminder in my phone to go and do that. The blood tests are to keep track of my kidney function, among other things. My last blood test Dr Julia didn't seem to think there was anything to worry about so that is good.

Next up we talked about the new tablet I'll be taking. It's actually going to be a different one that we had talked about as all the slots for that medication have been filled. As the drugs are really new they can only be accessed by compassionate need which means lots of paperwork to fill out for Dr Julia. The new tablet will be 2 years, not 3 years. It'll be every day, not 3 weeks on and 1 week off. It's called Abemaciclib. 90% of people can get diarrhoea so it can take a few weeks to figure out the dose that doesn't give me the runs. Maybe I'll be the 10% in this case??? I'll need to keep GastroStop close by in case it is bad. I do have some of that which I didn't use when I was on chemo. Shudder, don't want to remember that whole constipation episode. The trial that was completed for this drug is MonarchE if anyone is interested. I'll see Dr Julia again on Dec 1st.

I saw Paula again in the last couple of weeks and we discussed how I was feeling about looking for work next year. Some trepidation about having to search for jobs, apply for jobs, interview for jobs, having to wear real shoes for an extended time. I have had some look online and have looked at part time positions. I don't want to rush straight into full time. Paula said that what might be good is to find a couple that I might like that are available now and write a cover letter and update my resume to get me used to doing that type of thing again. Do that a few times and even apply if I feel like it. Some places might really like me and might be ok if I start next year.

My parents got air conditioning installed in the house a couple of weeks ago. I've been using it most nights to take the humidity out of the air. I have been sleeping a bit better because of that. Still waking up and getting hot flushes but they don't seem to last as long in the drier air. I tend to wake up about 10 seconds before the heat and sweating starts. Last night I only woke up 3 times! Considering it's been 6-8 times almost every night for the last 3 months or so that's a definite win. This Wednesday solar panels are going on the roof.

I've started using the DuoLingo app again to keep up my Swedish practice. It was a bit too much brain power for most of the year so I let my daily practice lapse. It's good to keep it up and I've also added Latin and Scottish Gaelic. The latin is because I've always thought it would be interesting to know the roots of so many different words. The Gaelic is because I loved hearing it when I lived in Scotland and the next time I go back I want to go to the Outer Hebrides and they still speak it a lot out there. I am really loving learning it, the different sounds and how things are spelt. Also reminds me of Outlander and of course Jamie. So far I have a 7 days streak. I did have around 500 and something before all this happened. I'll get there again.

I saw Jon Gamble again. We discussed the last three months since I saw him and all the shitty things that happened. He said that he is hearing that my broken sleep and hot flushes are what is troubling me the most at the moment. I agree with that. I know how important sleep is for a healthy brain. If you don't get good sleep there is no time for it to clean out all the nasties at night and they build up and can lead to cognitive impairment. So, I'm still to take vitamin D (which is good as Dr Julia wants me to take it too to help my bones maintain their Na'vi like carbon fibre strength), Vitamin B complex and chromium. Also I'm going to take zinc and a homeopathic remedy Sulpher LMO. These two will help with the hot flushes. In addition to that he said to try and eat Paleo until he seems me again on Dec 15th. I don't have to be super strict but if I can limit grains (including potato), legumes and refined sugar then that should help "reduce the heat in your body". I knew that refined sugar causes inflammation and grains too but didn't know about the legumes. I really like lentils and chickpeas. So, I decided I would do that and so for the last week I have. My leg joints are not as sore and I have more energy. My hot flushes are annoying me but not quite as many a day and not for as long a duration. They used to be 5-10 mins or so and now it's 2 mins or less mostly. Looking forward to what the next month or so will bring. I'm not really missing the banned foods so that's also a good thing.

Choir has been fun and on Sunday the Merry Minstrels got together, minus our drummer as she ended up having 8 stitches in her finger due to an unfortunate encounter with a stick when playing with her dog. We worked out which songs to add music to and which parts would be played by which instruments. I'll be playing my alto recorder. My tenor one will be left out this time around as it's a bit soft and gets drowned out by the other instrumets. Jess will be playing my wooden flute in a few pieces and her metal flute in a few others. My wooden flute is in the key of D so some pieces it just doesn't work if you need an F natural. I'm not coughing when singing or playing my recorders anymore and have my breath control almost back to normal. We have 4 concerts this year. Two in the city as part of the City of Sydney Christmas Festival, one with the local Police band and an end of term free concert on our last night. Looking forward to it all...well, I may have to take ice packs to stand on because my costume is VERY hot and summer is almost here.

Remember I was talking about my knee? Well, it was catching for a bit and I couldn't bend it too much. I was going down the stairs holding a box with some food in it and my knee collapsed a bit. I managed to catch myself from falling the last 4 steps flat on my face onto the slate tiles. I didn't manage to stop my heal skidding on the edge of the steps, nor stop my knee bending right back so my heal was digging into my bum. I heard, and felt, a pop and as I was lying at the bottom of the stairs, bent like a pretzel, squished between the stairs and halfway into the laundry doorway I thought to myself "That would be right, I've blown out my knee just when I was starting to feel just a bit more like myself". Then I laughed (in between my groans) because doing crazy injuries IS being more like myself. Mither and Pither weren't home. I was thinking I might have to call the ambulance and also see if Lewis was home to come over as well. After a couple of minutes I was able to move a bit and straighten out my leg. It was sore but whatever popped seemed to have fixed the catching issue that it was having. It's taken about a week but there is only a very slight niggle now. Remember the food I was carrying, one of the things in the box was a bag of rice. It split open. Not that much came out but enough flung all over the place that I am still finding grains even tough I swept and vacuumed. The rice was before I started on the paleo so the rest of it is in a jar waiting patiently for someone to eat it.

I've been doing more craft and sewing and enjoying being creative again. My sister Shell moved house and I've been told it's called the Jelly Bean House. Apparently there were jelly beans in there when the real estate agents were showing it. I said that I could crochet some and Aneira and Zaeli loved the idea and today put in their colour orders. Medium blue, orange, lime green, lemon, light pink and violet. I like that it's called the jelly bean house as jelly beans remind me of Grandpa Heldon. He used to have jelly beans in his car. My favourite were the black ones.

I realised I never really gave Persephone a send off. She was taken out during my bilateral mastectomy surgery. I don't really think of her much unless the scar gets bumped by a nieces elbow. "Hugs aren't meant to hurt Aunty Cazza" I was told. "No they aren't but this scar here is still sore". Zaeli gave the scar a long look and very gently pats it. Kids are super cute. I was thinking about Persephone one night recently and came up with a haiku.

Persephone Port

You never worked properly

Gone and good riddance.