55. THE text message

At 2.37pm today (Tues) the text message from the Hospital came in. I had just opened up my computer to write a blog and was going to call it something else and then 10 seconds later the message came in. 8.30am is check in time at the Day Surgery Clinic at St George Public Hospital. Need to fast from 2.30am and only clear fluids up to 6.30am and then nothing. I've put an alarm on for 6.25am to get up and have a big drink of water. The worst thing last time was feeling so thirsty all day. Mither and I will catch the 7.45am train from Loftus and then walk from Kogarah. It'll be less than a 10 min walk. Avoiding peak hour traffic. A mix of slight apprehension and excitement about it all but mostly I feel that I am prepared for whatever comes my way.

Last Friday the nurse called from the hospital to run through all the pre-op questions. Health related stuff - did I have heart issues, lung issues, diabetic, medication, other health problems etc. She said to bring in toiletries for one or two nights. The text message today said "Please be aware of possible cancellation of surgery due to bed shortages within St George Hospital". Yeah, hope that doesn't happen. Dr Inder was already a bit huffy that there has been this much delay since my last chemo treatment. Couldn't be helped but there can be more chance if any cancer survived chemo in the boob or lymph node area to decide to go off, to divide and conquer, somewhere else in the body.

Dr Lucinda (Radiotherapy Oncologist) called on Friday too. She confirmed what and when my operation would be and made another appointment for July 17th. This time to talk about when to book in for a CT scan, get my little tattoo dots and confirm when radiation will start and for how long. The scan and tattoo appointment will take about 45 mins. There will also be a discussion about what will be best to help my skin through the radiation. She says with a mastectomy there is a thin film type thing that is like glad wrap/cling film that can be used to help. A few people who have had radiation before have recommended Moo Goo. I mentioned that and she said it could be helpful but to hold off buying anything yet.

On the weekend it was Erik and Anna's 6th birthday party. It was a fun afternoon but I did end up getting a headache towards the end. In the morning I'd met Evie, Ange and Jon at the Apple Shack at Darkes Forest Orchard. It's a bit late for apple picking, they are too high up now, but we did get some apples, honey, apple cider vinegar (for Mither) sat outside in the sun and enjoyed a hot drink.

On Monday I had my appointment with Paula. We discussed how I was feeling about the surgery going into it and what will and/or may happen afterwards. I hadn't been to Sutherland Hospital for a few weeks so it was slightly strange being there again. All the beeping noises from the IV machines brought back some memories. Not bad feelings, just awareness that those sounds will probably always remind me of chemo and how it took over my life for almost half a year.

In the afternoon I did an exercise class with Lewis. My fingers and hands still get aches and sharp pains in them so we decided I wouldn't be lifting weight above my head or swinging kettle bells. No need to risk 16kgs being flung across the room or dropping 6kgs on my head. I did some squats holding 7kg weights which was going ok when suddenly my left middle and pointer fingers felt like they were on fire. I managed to put the weight down before I dropped it. The last set I did squats with just body weight. I ended up doing a good workout, I used some 2kg weights that can velcro around my wrists a couple of times so I didn't have to use my fingers to grip too many times.

Jenn came over in the afternoon, just as I'd finished my shower and I was getting changed. As I was putting my bra on I couldn't help but think '2 more days and then this torture devices will no longer be needed'. She was kind enough to bring me a lovely bag full of fun items, a bunch of fat quarter fabrics, BIG mug, candle, lots of postcards, one of her Jenntangle cards, 90% Lindt chocolate bar and a few other things.

This morning Kim (breast nurse) called to talk with me about post surgery things. Two drains, same bellowvac ones as before. We discussed how usually they don't come out until there is 30mls or less for 2 days running but last time I kept hovering around 100mls for about 5 days running and so they came out on day 15 anyway. She said that would be a discussion between the community nurses and Dr Inder and how everything is looking and feeling down the track. After the surgery I'll also have a pressure dressing that is wrapped around my chest, attached together with velcro. Hopefully it's nice strong stuff. Wouldn't want that to come undone, it could be rather painful where ever or who ever it would hit. There is also a post surgery "bra" type thing she is going to order. It is free for people who have had a bilateral mastectomy. It is more like a crop top thing that zips up the front and can have soft padded boobs you can put in if you want. She asked me if I wanted a D or E cup and I said A please. She thinks the smallest is a B. She also asked what size I might need around the body but it's hard to know really. Bra sizes and clothing are weird when you are outside the "norm". She'll have a look at what is available anyway and if she can't find something she thinks will fit she can give me a voucher to get 2 ($70 each) and a list of places that sell them. They can help with keeping the swelling down and also help comfort wise for the scars as they are healing.

We discussed that just like last time I can shower but not get the drain dressings wet. Also sleeping and lying on my back only while the drains are in. Not my favourite thing that's for sure. I'll get another drain bag to hang the drain in and another little horseshoe pillow - which I actually never used under my arm but I did sleep on it cos the satin was nice was my bald head when my skin was extra sensitive during chemo. I wonder if it will be pink again. It would be nice to be any other colour than pink! That reminds me, I need to get my drain bag ready to be brought to the hospital when it's time to leave. It's in my car with my swimmers and a towel in it. It's the perfect size for them and I liked to keep it in my car in case there was impromptu swimming happening anywhere. Living near the coast and beaches is nice. Not that this past summer was that good for swimming weather. Kim also talked about the exercises I did before, no lifting arms above my head, shoulder height only, until the drains are out. I mentioned how I've booked into the Restore Oncology Clinic at Miranda and she said that was a smart move.

I've done some more cooking of food and the freezer is stocked up. Today I went and got some new underpants. I've really been meaning to get some for about a year and figured I really should get some. I wanted to find some fun designs and colours and did end up finding a bunch of random things in the sale rack at Best and Less. Some were even $1. I looked at the non sale ones and I don't think I could justify paying $16-$19 for one pair!!! Even though having undies with jars of Vegemite on them would be very fun I think spending the money on food is more appropriate. I wish adult undies could have rainbow unicorns and dinosaurs etc on them. The kids have all the fun undies. Maybe I could have that as a sewing project in the future. There is some great fabrics out there.