54. Sharp Stabbing Eyelashes!

In a weeks time I will have had my operation and probably either in recovery or on the ward. Wednesday 28th is my surgery date. I don't know what time I will have to be at the hospital yet, I will get a text message or a phone call the day before, before 6pm. That will tell me what time I will have to fast from and any other details that I will need to know or to do before my operation. When I went to St George Hospital to hand in my admission forms I found out that the Kensington Street entrance carpark was totally gone. Looks like a new building is be built. I parked at the multi story carpark around the corner and then walked into the hospital entrance across the road there. A map was on the wall but it didn't make that much sense as there was demountable buildings and construction stuff. Anyway, I figured that I could follow signs to the main entrance and then ask for directions. That worked well, lots of twists and turns to get there. I was told to go up one level in the lift and then follow signs to the admission office. Easier said than done. Out of the 6 lifts only 3 were working so I had to wait at least 10 mins.

I eventually made it to the office and asked if I would find out my surgery date then or would I get an email or phone call. I was told to wait and Mary came out and gave me a form to say that the operation would be on the 28th June (no choir concert for me) and it also said to come to the Pre-Admissions Clinic on the 19th at 1.30pm. I ask where that was and she started to answer and then asked when my last surgery was and when my last chemo dose was. I told her and she told me to wait and went into another room. She came out, took my form and crossed out the appointment date and time and wrote BYPASS. I didn't need to come in and I would just get a call closer to the 28th. I asked if they could validate my parking ticket and they could. Same deal at Sutherland Hospital. 3 hours for free and then $5.80 up to 24 hours after entry date and time. That will come in handy when I have my radiation treatments. I asked if there was an easier way to get out of the hospital and there was. There is still a little walkway beside where the carpark used to be.

On June 9th I called Restore Oncology Clinic at Miranda and spoke with Renee. I have 5 free (or maybe discounted) referrals to the clinic which I got earlier on in the year. I never used them as I had so many appointments etc. I obviously wasn't meant to use them then as Renee says that it is very good to see them after cancer surgeries so they can help with scar healing and my scars won't "adhere to my chest wall". That sounds exceedingly horrid so I am glad I can use them now. She said often people come when they already have a problem and then it takes a long time to fix, or it can't be fixed. It's better to prevent stuff happening in the first place. She also asked me questions about my other operation, how I healed, what I did etc. She says that the clinic can work out a rehab program that fits in with my massages with Carlie and also my exercise classes with Lewis. I was sent a form after I got off the phone with a whole bunch of questions about me, my cancer, what surgery, treatments I have had and what I will have. I have an appointment with Renee 3 weeks after my surgery - as long as my drains are out. I would HOPE so!!!

My hair on my head is coming back quicker now. It was all pure white but now darker hair is coming in. It's growing a bit like a mullet hairstyle which is terrible! It's good it's winter so I can enjoy having a warm head with headscarves or beanies and avoid the mullet. At the back it's probably almost a centimetre long now. It's thin but getting thicker. It's a bit itchy as well sometimes. I wondered if my scalp was dry with the cold dry weather we have been having but I have been putting my moisturising jojoba mix on it. Probably itchy cos it's growing back. My leg hair also had grown back a bit. Nice and soft and light and fine - not like it used to be, dark and coarse. It'd rather it didn't grow back but if it is then I can handle that. I realised it had grown back quite a bit as I was on a swing at the park with Evie, one of those big round ones with ropes criss crossed in the middle. It was at the Clifton Park and as I swung I could feel the air flowing through my leg hairs. Rather novel experience.

My eyebrows pretty much continued to fall out and now some are coming back again. A few here and there. My eyelashes pretty much all fell out and that was quite annoying. Maybe because of my contacts it was worse but my eyes would get gummy and stick together, especially when I was asleep. Sometimes I had to soak them in the morning so I could open my eyes without it feeling like I was tearing off a scab. The last week though the little buggers have been growing back in and they are SHARP! Like tiny needles poking my eye lids every time I blinked. And don't even squeeze them shut - ow! The last couple of days they are finally long enough that they aren't quite so vicious when blinking.

As to other hair, my arm hair must've either fallen out or thinned or something. It's definitely a different colour and texture than before chemo. I didn't really notice it that much. No hair under my arms and I hope that decides to just stay away. Especially seeing under my right arm is still numb and I would find it quite difficult to try and shave. No pubic hair still, I do hope that comes back. It is not practical or comfortable without pubs. I don't know why someone would voluntarily have a Brazilian wax. For one thing it would hurt like crazy. Maybe some women like it or maybe they just do it for their partner. After getting a 'carpet burn' and skin torn down in the nethers I will be quite happy when they decide to come back.

My toes are still numb. I've been trying to see if keeping them warm makes a difference. Wearing ugg boots if it's 15c or colder. It might be helping. They are ever so slightly better each week. My fingers though, last Friday night and Saturday I had excruciating stabbing pains all down my fingers and hands. It was not pleasant at all. I have had it a bit sometimes since but what I have noticed is that my fingers are a bit less numb and don't feel as stiff or fumbly as before. Ange has a theory that the pain is the nerves waking up and healing. She could be right. I'll mention it to Dr Michael next time I see him. I also have been having quite a lot of bone and muscle aches that don't seem to be related to exercise or any type of excessive movements. The left side of my neck and halfway down my left shoulder is not happy. My left hip and up to my spine is not happy either. I have a massage tomorrow and hoping I can find some relief for them. Doing stretches and using the foam roller helps a bit. A heat pack a bit as well. My right foot sometimes feels like it's being squished in a vice again but not as much or frequent as it had been.

Tiredness and fatigue still attack me, sometimes without warning. I might feel like I'm doing ok and then suddenly I just need to lie down. My head/brain can feel a bit disconnected and just watching a show I've already seen or something on YouTube is about as much as I can handle. Still no appetite but my taste buds are pretty much back to normal. My tummy has rumbled a couple of times around meal times so I'll take that as a win that the nerves in my gut are healing too. Sometimes I do realise that I haven't eaten for 5 or 6 hours and my head is spacey and that tells me that I'm hungry.

On Sunday to Tuesday I went to Canberra to visit with my aunt and uncle. I love road trips. Thanks goodness my finger and hands weren't too painful. Having a car with cruise control definitely helped make the trip easier. It takes about 3 hours driving time. I usually stop halfway at Marulan service centre for about half an hour. Aunty Sylvia is a homeopath and she made up some remedies that will help me after my surgery. Arnica, hypericum, silica, ferrum phos and mag phos. Also we went to The Heirophant at Griffith to get some Radium Brom that will help me when I will be having radiation. Canberra was delightfully cold, down to -4 overnight, felt like -9. The last week there has been a cold snap over the Eastern states and I am enjoying it immensely. Record cold nights for a number of places. For my Northern Hemisphere friends it wouldn't seem that novel for winter but for Sydney going down to 2c or so and feeling like minus temperatures is quite a rare thing. The snow fields (Snowy Mountains and Victorian Alps) have now had a dumping of snow after a slow start to the season.

Today when I was going food shopping I bumped into Sarah in the carpark. She trains with Lewis too. At boxing she'd always tell us when it was halfway through the session and at exercise class she has made up names for exercises from the Avengers - the Hulk, Iron Man etc. Sometimes I even use those names too! She also complains about pain in the "side bums" when we do the Nutbush dance with bands around our ankles. I now call those hip muscles side bums too. She was wondering when my next blog would be written and I said I was planning on writing it tonight. "Make sure it's before boxing". even though Lewis is sick at the moment and boxing is cancelled. Don't worry Sarah, I'll post this soon. She was a bit apprehensive as she had a sore spot on the edge of her right boob, and has to get a biopsy tomorrow. Nothing showed up on the mammogram but did on the ultrasound. It was called a lesion. She asks me if the biopsy hurts. "Weeellll, it certainly did for me". That was not very comforting I guess (sorry) and she said she won't sleep tonight. I said she could take some panadol before the appointment and it might help. She said she'd take panadol and nuerofen. Don't do the neurofen, I was told that it can promote bleeding at times. We chatting in the carpark for maybe 20 mins. Sometimes cars were going to park in the spot next to her and then got huffy when they saw I was blocking a bit of the space. Sarah was sitting in her seat and I was standing next to the car with her door open. There were other spaces that were close by that they could use, just meant they would have to walk 5 or 10 metres further. Let's hope her appointment tomorrow goes well and isn't painful and she doesn't end up with a black boob like I did. Unfortunately she is also going to go to Hurstville where I went. Maybe my experience was a one off but I guess we will find out.

I went and saw The Little Mermaid live action with Mither last week. I quite enjoyed it. We were in the back row as when we went to get tickets the cinema was almost full. Some of the loud bits in the movie were REALLY LOUD and I had to cover my ears. Usually I sit as least 4 rows closer to the screen. Further away from the speakers. I liked the new songs that were added and I liked the actors that were cast.

I made a big meat and veg lasagne last week and put the leftovers in the freezer. 6 meals. I will also make a lentil veg soup and freeze the leftovers. After my operation I won't be want to do too much for a couple of weeks I am sure. The lasagne was delicious and I am tempted to have one for dinner tonight! I've run out of time and energy tonight to make the lentil soup so I think toasted sandwiches will be on the menu. I really want a sandwich press. I used to have one and it died. I loved making all sorts of things in the press. I'll put it on my wish list.