44. Really?!? I didn't need that!

On Tuesday it was Chemo VI (Taxol II). Appointment was at 10.30am so I arrived with about 5 mins to spare. I checked in at the reception, put the sticker (with all my details) on the right side of my top, went and sat down to wait. I know that sometimes they run about 5-10 mins late but when it got close to half an hour, and another lady who had only just arrived went in I thought maybe I should check to make sure I hadn't been forgotten about. Kim walked by and we chatted a bit about how I'd been going with the taxol, the different side effects etc and how it had been impacting my week so far. Even though the stabbing joint pain often comes out of nowhere I think I rather having it than the yucky tummy and gastrointestinal issues that I had. (Typing this my left wrist is currently being stabbed by the unseen hot poker).

It was about 11.20am by the time nurse Georgia came and got me. It was busy inside, only one chair left free. 36.6c, 97% O2, 138.1kg, 111/75 BP. When she first took my blood pressure it was 164/83 and she said "Is that normal for you?" Not at all, that's way high. She had put the cuff on my left forearm. She went and got the bigger cuff (It's a maroon colour, the other one was dark blue) and put it on my upper left arm. 111/75 is much better thank you!!! She gets out all the bits and pieces, has a feel of Persephone to see where the three little dots are......she gets a really intense concentration look on her face and I said "Is Persephone trying to avoid being stabbed again?" "Yep, she is moving around quite a bit!". (ok, right elbow is now being stabbed but the wrist is now being left alone). She eventually must've figured out where Persephone is and I breathe in deeply, hold and STAB. It didn't hurt as much as last week that's for sure. Now, will she bleed?

Who am I kidding? Of course she won't. Various positions tried, coughing, breathing deeply, leaning forward, leaning back, head to the right. Ok, looks like she ain't going to play today. It's 12.01pm, Georgia pushes down 2mg of Anteplase. That's what they use for people who have strokes but I got only a tiny dose. Now I have to wait for exactly 2 hours. I've brought my hexagons so onwards and upwards with those. (OW - left knee now and right elbow still). I have a chat a bit with another lady who is there, she is interested in the hexagons and what they are for. I find out it was her first chemo and she hadn't brought anything to do, read, watch etc. She likes the idea of a project but says she doesn't have anything. She'll have a think on what she might like to do for her next session.

2.01pm. Georgia is back and Mocs is with her. She puts a syringe with some saline in it onto the tube and pushes it through, pulls back and nothing. Great. She says that she'll keep trying but if it doesn't work they can put a bit more of the anteplase down but if that doesn't work I would have to be sent for "urgent stripping". I almost burst out laughing as I get an image of me rushing through the hospital, flinging off my clothes behind me. Wouldn't that be funny, though, I would probably end up on the psych ward. I ask what that was and Georgia says that it is when they manually put something down (other than liquid) and 'strip' the tube. The procedure doesn't get done at Sutherland Hospital but it does at St George. Ok Persephone, you'd better stop playing around and just do your job, now please?!?

I'm asked to lean right forward, so that I am almost bent double in the chair, boobs squished on my thighs. Now, a BIG cough, breathe in deeply, hold, do that again, breathe out. Put your left hand behind your head, turn your head to the right "Oh, I see a tinge of pink" cries Georgia. "Don't move but breathe in deeply again" says Mocs. The faint pink tinge gets a bit darker. Mocs pulls and pushes on the syringe end a few times and then Georgia has a go. I'm still in the bent and weird contortionist position. After almost 7 mins Georgia says "oh, something just gave way and look, beautiful blood return". Mocs agrees and I say "Can I sit up now?" I'm allowed to and the blood still flows back. They need to get 2mm (or is it 2ml?). Anyway, it was 2 something. They definitely have that. Mocs hooks me up for the Taxol and says it'll be around an hour or so. Lunch and a snack came and went when I was at the hospital and I was done by about 3.30pm. Paula dropped by for about a 5 mins chat at one point as well. Long day at the hospital, 57 hexagons. I didn't get as many done as I thought I might but I did have quite a few interruptions and chatting and text messages.

Skip forward to Thursday. Heart ECHO time again. Appointment was at 8.30am. They were running a bit late but only about 5 mins. It was the same lady who did it last time. The gown was still on the small side so instead of putting it on with the opening at the front, it means not fabric at the front at all. So, I just draped it over me like a sheet. She sticks a couple of those square things on me, two above my boobs and one below my right boob. (I still have a mark on my skin from where it was stuck). I lie on my left side. She attached some cables and then goes to squeeze out the gel. It's empty. She huffs and says "I wish the people who are on the day before would replace it when it gets empty". Yeah, you'd think that would be the polite and smart thing to do. Once she gets a new bottle she puts the little paddle thing over my heart, moves it around, every now and again I hear some swooshing sounds, other heart beating and blood flowing sounds. She says "I can't see anything major that is different from your previous scan but the Dr will do a full report for your oncologist tomorrow.". That's good to know that my breathlessness when I was sick wasn't made worse by a heart that wasn't working well. She has to get the paddle thing up under my left boob again, her hand becoming hidden under boob. It all takes about 25 mins and I'm done.

Side note - my 💩 chart got a work out on Thursday. I ended up going 5 times before lunch, progressively more on the diarrhoea side. When I left the heart ECHO place I drove just up the road and realised I might not make it home and so pulled into the hospital, parked in the 15 min bay out the front and used the toilets there. However, it was just a Thursday thing.

Today, Friday, I see Dr Michael. 10.30am appointment. About 10 mins late and another Dr calls my name. His name is Nick. Maybe Dr Michael is running late or something? Anyway, Dr Nick tells me that my Heart ECHO came back fine. I just realised that I forgot to ask for a copy of the report. I like reading the details on them. I'll write it down for next time. We talk about the side effects that I have been having. The pain and aches are normal and if they get too bad I can take some pain meds. He did say that if it got too bad that they can do a pain patch that lasts the week. I don't need that but I guess for some people it could get super bad that they would. Dr Nick wants to have a look at my surgery scars and check my boobs. I strip off the top half and he pushes around on my scars and both boobs. He touches Persephone's scar lightly and says "Is this your port?" and I say "Yes, that's Persephone". He asks why I've called her that so I explain the Goddess of the Underworld delivering death to cancer cells. He likes that. Then says "I thought you might have called it that after a medical trial that is running that is called Persephone." Interesting! He says that he can't feel any new masses and everything looks and feels as it should be. I ask him about how long after chemo I would wait before my next surgery and he says 4 weeks. 3 weeks is pushing it and it's better to wait 4 weeks. Ok, so if I don't get any delays with my 12 taxol sessions that means that all of June is a rest month, surgery could be early July, then 6 weeks recovery and then radiotherapy will start. Timeline sketch has been revised in my mental calendar.

He says that Dr Michael wants to come in as well and to wait. Me and Mither sit there in Dr Nick's office for over 10 mins until Dr Michael was finished with his other patient. We do talk a bit about stabbing pains, aches and then the peripheral neuropathy a bit as well. I say that the slightly reduced sensation is like if you have put out a candle with your fingertips and you get a thin film of wax on them. You can feel through it but it's slightly weird. Dr Michael said he hadn't heard it explained like that before. He says to keep a close eye (and I guess feel) on my fingers and toes and to let the nurses know immediately if anything changes, especially numb and tingling and loss of function. He says that with the symptoms I have now he imagines that by dose 6 it might be reduced from there onwards.

So that's the medical appointments side of the post. I did do my exercise class with Lewis on Wednesday and felt pretty good before and afterwards. I went to choir on Thursday night. We had a couple of new people come which was great. I hope they come back again. Today I spent the afternoon with Ange and Guilla. We did some Procreate discussions about how to make designs into seamless patterns and did a trial one with one of Guilla's amazing designs. I just love her artworks so so much. Then I opened a Spoonflower shop online and uploaded one of my designs I have done. It's visible to see but not to sell just yet. https://www.spoonflower.com/spelunks?type=designers&s=Carolyn_Heldon I'll be uploading more designs and creating collections from now on so if you are interested go have a look. The one design I have up there at the moment is called Falling Leaves and these four leaves were some of the watercolour artworks I created when I was recovering in hospital when Shell came to visit. My aim to mainly to make designs that would be good for quilting fabric but I am open to seeing where this journey will take me. I have ordered some of the falling leaves fabric and once it is on it's way I can make the design available for sale to anyone. It was a very fun afternoon and I am excited to have another creative outlet.

However....I wasn't very excited when a chunk of one of my back teeth and filling came out halfway through the visit! It was the same tooth filling that I needed to get fixed after my operation, the same tooth where the filling fell out the day before my boob operation. I had been at the dentist a couple of weeks ago for a check up and clean and I had said that the tooth felt a bit rough and weird. She wasn't the usual dentist that I see and she said it probably needed a bit of buffing. She did that but maybe she did something that made it loosen. Anyway, I have an appointment for Wed next week to get it fixed. Humphf! It's not like I need anymore appointments in my life!!!