24. Food - a week later

It's only been a week since my first chemo and yet it feels like a year at times. The first few days were pretty ordinary - by that I mean shitty (not literally, quite the opposite actually). It's not that I felt nauseas, it was that I didn't feel hungry and just thinking about food made me even less likely to be hungry. For someone who loves food this is a weird experience. The body needs sustenance though, especially when all sorts of drugs, poisons etc had been swamping it the last couple of days. It didn't help that I got constipated for three days and needed to get some 'poo powder' (movicol) from the pharmacy to help things along. I spoke with Kim, my oncology support person, and she says that the long lasting anti-nausea medication I had the morning of the chemo can 'block the pipes'. Also, I had the port installed on Monday and I remember that it was fentanyl as the main drug that was used to moderately sedate me, plus whatever the local anaesthetic was . I also took a couple of panadol that night to help me sleep as it was painful. Whatever the combination that did it, my tummy was really sensitive to touch and food didn't appeal. After almost 3 days the movicol did it's work and RELIEF! The massage technique that Ange showed me also did help a lot as well. I really feel for people living with dementia and/or people with disability who may not be able to verbalise that they are constipated. That they then might get labeled as having "behaviours of concern" and then medicated to stop them being "disruptive". The correct term now to use is "changed behaviours" and 99% of the time it is probably because they can't communicate a need - like "I NEED TO POO!" I certainly felt like shouting it from our back balcony across the green swathes of Loftus.

Food has been the focus this week. What do I want? What do I need? What can I think about? What can't I think about? As the week progressed I got my appetite back a bit more each day and by Monday I almost felt hungry. My sense of smell has gone super sonic and certain smells that I never really noticed before I don't like at all. The polydent tablets for Pither's dentures when he soaks them over night for example. That was one I noticed the other night for the first time. Also, the mouthwash he uses reeks! One of the nurses mentioned that sometimes it is like people on chemo are like people who are pregnant. Weird cravings and greater sense of smell. She also said one lady gets to day 4 after chemo, goes to Maccas and gets a serving of small fries. URGH! Each to their own I suppose. Maccas is Aussie for McDonald's if anyone was wondering.

Breakfast - my usual fruit, greek yoghurt, nuts and chia seeds seems to be something that was ok from day 3 onwards. I mix up the fruit but almost always have a banana as well. I got pears this week. They are good to get the bowels moving along. Also peaches have been nice too.

Lunch - I've been eating a sandwich on Bürgen Soy & Linseed bread with cheese, red onion, tomato, cucumber, beetroot and iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce is amazing! I used to prefer baby spinach and rocket (arugula for non Aussies) but both of those aren't appealing at the moment. As the week went on I added a bit of mayonnaise and then even some seeded mustard yesterday. Simple but it is fresh and clean. Later in the week I was able to add a hardboiled egg. Today I had some carrot, snow peas and some chickpeas as a little side salad.

Dinner - they have been harder. Even on days where I had had a good breakfast and lunch by the time I get to dinner I don't really feel like much. Soups, congee and crackers have been the best things for most of the week. I had a cauliflower and cashew soup one night. It is the brand 'No Nasties' from Woolies and it is delicious! One night I just wanted the same sandwich as lunch time.

Snacks - I've been eating something small every couple of hours and then a bit more at the main meal time. This has definitely helped. Wholemeal salada crackers with avocado, or peanut butter & beetroot, butter & Vegemite, humous (only on day 7 though). Sometimes the berry sorbet that I have blitzed up in my food processor with some oat milk. That's been nice in the feral hot and humid weather we have been having. I won't get started but anyone who knows me can understand the immense deep hatred I have of humidity, add that to struggling to know what to eat and talk about changed behaviours!!!!

Update on the itchy bumps, they are finally gone. Thank goodness for that!

I got a card in the mail to say that there was something to pick up at the post office. It was my official graduation certificate, transcript and a copy of the book at the graduation ceremony with everyones degrees and names in it. It is nice to have something tangible to show for the three years of full time study.

Yesterday I got the stitch out from the port. The cut up near my neck had one stitch and is only very small. The cut where the actual main port bit is is about 2.5cm (1 inch) and they didn't stitch that. Maybe they used glue? There was some of those sticky strips on it. That is located about 15cm below my collarbone, at the top of my left boob. Jasmine was the nurse at the oncology day clinic who took the stitch out. She says both incisions looks good and the port should be fine to use for next weeks chemo. It's still a little sensitive to touch so we will see how it is for next week.

Today I went to my GP for a pap smear. Not pleasant but it has been at least 5 years since I have had one. We discussed how my periods were and I mentioned that since having the pfizer covid vaccine in Sep 2021 they have never really gone back to normal and since Sep last year really been over the place (there are now two big studies that show women's menstrual cycles have been messed up, especially when 2 doses were given in the same month, and can take a number of months to go back to normal). I could be in perimenopause (being 45) but it could be the stress of the cancer diagnosis, operations etc. Chemo can also put you into menopause so I guess it's let's see what happens. I would be quite happy not getting my period again. I also mentioned to her that when I was doing the massage on my tummy when I was constipated I felt a lump, left side, just under my ribs. She had a feel and said it could be a lipoma (fatty lump) and just to be on the safe side to go have an ultrasound. I got an appointment for next Monday. I had an inner giggle about the whole gel situation again. I guess I have gone most of my life with hardly ever going to the doctor (apart from x-rays for suspected broken bones from injuries - never did break anything!) so am making up for it now.